The Cosmic Conundrum Pt. 3 – Mutable Sign Meeting

Mutable Sign Meeting

Sagittarius: So…..what are we meeting again for?

Virgo: And this….is why I hate you…..

Gemini: I got the most important scoop ever. But we are meeting so that we can discuss…..things…..we will pretend that they mean something…but we all know they ultimately don’t.

Virgo: Um excuse me but you’re not the judge of that….

Sagittarius: Okay….well what things are we gonna discuss?

Virgo: How about we talk about the fact that there is so much injustice in the world and nobody is doing anything about it….except me? Oh wait never mind you ladies don’t even care…none of you really do…

Sagittarius: I care!

Virgo: You flaked on our only opportunity to gain an important lead on who is responsible for this corruption…because you didn’t want to miss that new Kevin Gates concert…

Sagittarius: I DON’T GET TIRED!

Virgo: …….*takes deep breath*……*sigh*

Gemini: Okay guys well I found out important information from the Fixed and Cardinal sign clans. Leo is aware that something is wrong with the transmission of conscious energy between realms and Capricorn is planning is to battle the opposition against her.

Virgo: Please do not mention those royal idiots. They think they can treat us any way they like. They act like we can’t just stop what we are doing for them and take over.

Gemini: We can do that?

Virgo: …….*takes deep breath*……*sigh*

Gemini: Anyway both parties are both suspicious of Pisces. Speaking of which….Pisces tell us what’s the deal with you and Libra.

Pisces: zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz…………..

Virgo: …….*takes deep breath*……*sigh*

Gemini: Asleep as usual….well we can ask her when she wakes up.

Virgo: You know what…..I have about had it with you incompetent, stupid, idiotic fools…..like for real….how can I manage with you all…..Gemini you open your mouth as if you are saying the wisest things yet have no idea how much of buffoon you really sound. Sagittarius…..you are an immature little…….ARE YOU SERIOUS RIGHT NOW? TURN OFF THAT GODDAMN GAMEBOY!!!

Sagittarius: Wait please! I’m almost done. You don’t understand it took me forever to get close to beating this leve-

Virgo: I CAN’T TAKE THIS STUPIDITY!!! WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH ALL OF YOU!!! HUMANITY AND THE NATURAL ORDER OF THE COSMOS IS COMPLETELY UNBALANCED AND NO ONE BUT ME IS DOING ANYTHING ABOUT IT!!

Gemini: Okay okay you’re right about humanity and all but…..’buffoon’…….really? Is that the best you could cone up with?

Virgo: …….*takes deep breath*……*sigh*……this isn’t worth it. You’re all just wasting my time. Looks like if you want something done you gotta do it yourself…

*Virgo leaves room*

Gemini: She’ll be back…she always come back.

Sagittarius: Like OMG what is her problem?

Gemini: She does have a point I feel where she’s coming from. Unfortunately I lack the attention span and empathy to really care though. Pisces….wake up!

Pisces: zzzzzzzzzzzz………huh?

Gemini: What’s up with you and Libra?

Pisces: ……….the caterpillar does not need to know the actions of the butterfly….

Gemini: Oh noooo……you’re speaking in ambiguous koans again….please not now….

Sagittarius: Don’t worry I actually speak those *puts down Gameboy* Pisces…does the rabbit jump as far as the coconut?

Pisces: Only if the peanut gallery is watching.

Sagittarius: Wow. So that means Jane Austin really does have a backbone.

Pisces: No. The backbone has Jane Austin..

Sagittarius: When the philosopher spits on it does it get hard?

Pisces: Winter never gets cold when the Sun visits camel toe…

Sagittarius: …oh wow..this situation is more serious than I thought…

Gemini: So am I supposed to sit and act like you two literally said anything of substance right now.

Sagittarius: Don’t worry I’ll translate…basically Pisces is being used by Libra and Capricorn to manipulate the masses using media programming to put them asleep.

Gemini: I know that already I heard them say that in the meeting.

Sagittarius: You didn’t let me finish. At first Libra went along with the plan but now…she’s not sure whether to move forward with it. Her hypnotism over Pisces has psychological affects on her and it’s messing with her.

Gemini: Wait you don’t mean…..

Sagittarius: Yea….Libra is falling in love…for the first time…..with Pisces….

Gemini: ….oh I was talking more about the precautions of imagination getting distorted with an improper use of justice but….I guess that’s important too?

Sagittarius: It’s very important because Libra has to make a decision now……

Gemini: ……awwwwwwwwwwww mannnnnn………….but…..she’s like….SUPER indecisive….like…..

Sagittarius: Yup….basically the greatest stalemate in existence.

Gemini: *sigh*………well what now?

Pisces: You shouldn’t have asked that….but oh well. *Goes back to sleep* Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Sagittarius: Well this meeting is going nowhere….I’m going home…..

*Sagittarius rips open dimensional fabric and walks through the veil*

Gemini: …..show off…….well anyway I guess that’s that. All that information gathered and for what? Back where I started….

Scorpio: You sure about that?

Gemini: Woah!!! Where-

Scorpio: That’s none of your business…..I need your help. And I don’t like asking anyone for help so don’t make this hard for me.

Gemini: You know me, I’m down for anything. What’s up?

Scorpio: Capricorn is in my way. Her import and export business is messing up things for me.

Gemini: What things?

Scorpio: Again…..that’s none of your business…..I need you to infiltrate and eavesdrop certain people. No one else knew at our meeting but I’m not stupid I knew you were there listening so I respect your skills. I want you to use them for me.

Gemini: Hmmm…….I’ll think about it….

‪#‎EndTransmission‬

The Cosmic Conundrum Pt. 2 – Cardinal Sign Meeting

It’s the Moment you all have been waiting for….the secret meeting of the Cardinal Signs! The Fixed Signs are like stubborn royalty but the Cardinal Signs are like the Bilderburger groups of the zodiac who monopolize EVERYTHING! So whereas the Fixed Signs have time to leisurely talk about basically nothing important and can meet often, the Cardinal Signs meet only once a year. They look down on the Mutable Sign Clan because we do NOTHING and get credit for EVERYTHING. They really just jealous tho ‪#‎KanyeShrug‬

Either way this imformation is exclusive. I am just a mere messenger so the Divine Council treats me like a replaceable TMZ gossip journalist thus my life is felt as expendable to them. I may realistically get killed as they go at lengths to keep this information secret. Capricorn would most certainly kill me on the spot…….but I’m so close…I gotta see Libra…

*All Four Cardinal Signs take their seats*

Aries: Okay ladies…..it’s time.

Cancer: *sips tea*

Capricorn: ………

Libra: ✌

Aries: I’ve been so busy that I never really mentioned this but….while you were all fighting these new tax laws vehemently I revolutionized the concept of global economy using logarithms and statistic principles.

Cancer: …..were you always this brilliant?

Libra: Yea she has. She just acts more than she speaks. She’s actually the only one who can out think Gemini.

Cancer: Speaking of Gemini I guess this is the perfect time to mention that she is right out the door eavesdropping on our entire conversation.

Aries: ……….

Libra: *sips tea*

Capricorn: I’ve had an assasin trained on her the moment she walked in. I’ll send the order to kill her now…

Cancer: Wait…..let her live. You know she’s gonna tell EVERYONE….that may actually work in our favor.

Capricorn: #KanyeShrug

Aries: What a dumbass smh…..okay don’t care anymore. We’re gonna do away with all the sweat shops and cheap labor around the world. Justice for all. We can really make the world right….once and for all.

Libra: Yes sister. You know me. At any moment I can sway the popular opinion around the world. My mastery over politics is forever unparalleled. So whatever laws you need made I can start talking to the judges in the prospective provinces.

Cancer: Your intentions are noble yes. But you do know your opposition is insurmountable right?

Aries: I know no fear.

Cancer: *sips tea*

Aries: Well done Libra I will draft up some initiatives and bills for various nations around the world. Capricorn you inspired this whole plan. Seeing you work with the utmost of integrity was the only reason I was able to piece this all together.

Capricorn: *Poker Face*

Libra: Impeccable job Aries! You are The One. The One who will Change The World.

Aries: Well I have to go to the gym to work out with Sagittarius like I promised. Virgo so kindly typed out written and visual reports of all the details and stats. Catch you all next year!

*Aries leaves room*

Capricorn: *sigh* Poor girl….she is literally blind to corruption and too naive for her own good….anyway here are the real orders. Most of the new leaders being accepted as leaders in these developing countries with budding economies are ruining my imports and exports with their radical new influence. Cheap labor is getting harder to do especially with the Internet educating people.

Libra: A hard challenge indeed. But worry not. Like I said I have political influence. Too many of these people depend on your control system so much they don’t even realize how subconsciously ingrained it is in them.

Cancer: Yea it would take at least the next generation of individuals born in an information age to be immune to our programming.

Capricorn: Sounds great. I’ll be taking my leave now. Libra I will need you to keep our influence on the media strong with Pisces. Pisces is our avenue to putting the masses to sleep. As long as you can keep hypnotizing Pisces with your charm she will never be free from your control. This meeting is adjouned.

Libra: ✌

*Capricorn leaves room*

Cancer: Libra….before you leave……..spill the beans. Something is wrong. Capricorn is too busy and Aries is oblivious but I feel a deep sadness within you. You can trust me….

Libra: …………….

Cancer: Ever since you have been working with Pisces…..you’ve been different….you don’t smile anymore….there used to be such warmth in your laugh……but now you are cold as ice…it’s breaking my heart….

Libra ……………

*Libra leaves room*

Cancer: ……….

*tears roll down eyes as she silently leaves*

I’m so lucky Cancer allowed me to live. I used that split second to escape. Just my luck *evil grin* Wow that was intense. The Mutable Sign Meeting is next. I’m almost positive that’s where I can find the answer to EVERYTHING!

‪#‎EndTransmission‬

The Cosmic Conundrum Pt. 1 – Fixed Sign Meeting

URGENT MESSAGE!

You guys!! I’m currently eaves dropping on a meeting between the Fixed Signs of the Zodiac!! Join me!

Leo: Are we ready to start the meeting?

Scorpio: Hurry up Scandal is gonna come on tonight.

Aquarius: Ew you actually tune into to human television programs? How basic.

Scorpio: Shut up you weird excuse for an alien…

Aquarius: ………….I’m sorry what was that I couldn’t hear you over the sound of your own mediocrity.

Leo: Okay you lovebirds let’s begin the meeti….oh fuck where is Taurus….

Aquarius: Eating

Scorpio: *shakes head*

Leo: Okay anyway there is a huge problem. Nobody is paying attention to me….and we need to do something about it.

Aquarius: Be serious Leo what’s the real issue?

Leo: …….didn’t you just hear what I said?

Scorpio: Aquarius what her royalty is trying to say is that not enough people are paying attention to the conscious rays from the Sun whispering in the hearts of these galactic beings.

Aquarius: I didn’t ask you, you think you understand it all huh?

Scorpio: Um and you think you know it all huh?

*Taurus walks in*

Taurus: *burp* what did I miss?

Leo: We were talking about me what did you expect?

Taurus: Yay my favorite subject *eye roll*

Leo: Listen guys Pisces and Libra are up to something I just know it…

Aquarius: You know…..I think you’re right. Pisces hasn’t been acting normal

Scorpio: When does that motherfucker ever act normal???

Taurus: No Leo is right….I noticed something is wrong with Libra. Have you noticed the injustice rampant on my planet Earth?

Leo: Exactly…well I don’t care about the injustice…they aren’t paying enough attention to me down there.

Aquarius: Leo you are not that self absorbed please drop the act….you actually care about these humans admit it…

Scorpio: Can I leave now? Scandal is about to start…..

Taurus: Aquarius you lied to me you said there was gonna be an orgy not a meeting….

Leo: Guys pay attention!! Justice and imagination are being skewed we have to do something about this.

Aquarius: Just let Virgo take care of it. We always give them all the work to do.

Leo: Great idea but they refused to help anymore because of some insignificant nonsense about not being appreciated enough…

Scorpio: Look my ‘dear friends’ I would give you my advice but you would call it too raw and too deep for it to be effective. So I’m going to go watch my sh-

Taurus: What should be done Scorpio?

Scorpio: *deep stare*……….well if you must know Libra has yet to know love because they do so much they haven’t stopped to smell the roses. Pisces is lonely as hell and no one wants to understand her. They aren’t acting weird, they are trying to fix things their own way. I think we should get off our thrones and show them what they are missing…..love…

Leo: HAHAHAHAHA this bitch said we should get off our thrones!! HAHAHAHAHA

Aquarius: HAHAHA and that we should show them love HAHAHA

Scorpio: …………..

*Scorpio leaves room*

Taurus: Really mature ladies…..

Leo: Oh she was being serious? I’m sorry….*coyly winks at Aquarius* Get it? Cuz I’m really not HAHAHA

Aquarius: Okay well either way we do have a problem on our hand. I’m gonna pretend to care but I really don’t. That leaves you two Leo and Taurus. What’s the deal?

Leo: Well I’m gonna keep providing conscious illumination like I always do *hair flip*

Taurus: ………I think Scorpio was right….I’m gonna get off my throne and help these two……something’s just not right….

Aquarius: Word…meeting adjourned!

Leo: Um we aren’t done yet!

Aquarius: Okay….what’s up?

Leo: …….NOW the meeting is done!

Taurus and Aquarius: *rolls eyes*

‪#‎EndTransmission‬